Where the heck art thou, Romeo?

Throughout the past three to four years I have dreamed, planned and saved for my twenty-first birthday party, a milestone to be celebrated and remembered. I had it sussed, hundreds of people in long silk gowns, my body miraculously similar to that of Megan Fox and most importantly my dashing long-term boyfriend sharing a few words on our recent trip to Bali…

However, instead I had those I loved squished into a backyard, dressed as Mexican’s, sipping on my mother’s non-alcoholic concoction – an unfamiliar territory for her. The night couldn’t have gone any better, noise control turned up to bring back those high school memories, my family continued to love me after the speeches and my bank account welcomed some new digits. But something was missing, where the heck was my ‘3-year long’ boyfriend to let my nana know their was a possibility of grandchildren…

My seventeen year old self would have been ashamed! Twenty-one and still no boyfriend. It’s not like I haven’t tried, I shave my legs at least once every three weeks, I wear mascara AND eyeliner for special occasions. I even workout, mainly to relieve some ‘minor’ anger issues but also so I can go on lots of dates and eat everything! So all I want to know is, where have I gone wrong?

So many of my friends are in incredible relationships, building one another up and investing into one another’s futures. All the while, I watch eleven episodes of some reality TV show while making three or four dinners along the way. I mean, obviously this proves I’m not actually desperate enough to go out there and do something about it, but it would be nice, if next time I order pizza, the dilvery guy is actually a Maori, Law Student who’s just finished some sort of recreational sports practice and is just funding his loan free degree.

But what I really want to know is, should I be as concerted as my mother? If my cleanly shaved legs aren’t doing the trick, what will? When tinder isn’t the solution, what is? So many bloody questions and Cosmo Magazine just won’t give me the answers!

Needless to say I have, along the way, been honoured with some friendly wisdom, that I will kindly share with you, followed by my immediate response.

“When you stop waiting, he will come” – First of all, Bull Crap, second of all, shut up, you have a boyfriend!

OR

“Church is the best place to meet your man” – Incest is an impending threat to my friend group within church and I am in no way going to take that risk!

AND

“Maybe you need to work on some things before you are truely ready” – I am smart, I am kind, I am important #stillwaiting

Don’t get me wrong, I have some incredible leaders and friends in my life who challenge and guide me on this crazy spinning planet. And yes, much to their relief, I have learned from past mistakes and have let those things shape and change me into a somewhat mature woman. But this still doesn’t change the fact that I am gradually waving goodbye to the ‘normal’ years of not having a boyfriend and entering the “what’s wrong with her” years…

My whole life I have grown up thinking, Romeo will come in and sweep me off my feet, courting me AND my best friends, winning all of our approvals, to end with a sexy hunk, down one knee while I try to keep my hands from nervously sweating as he places the ring on my finger. Twenty-one years down and only a few prime years to go, so where the heck art thou Romeo?